Newly Single… Now What?

Girl Talk! You know, cause I love ya’ll or whateva.. (I’m still a G tho..LOL)

  • Freedom from the Relationship

View this as God’s protection of you because it really is just that! We have got to get a very clear understanding that while God hates what we may do, he always has and forever will LOVE us! The Word says that we are precious and honored in his sight. He will give others in exchange for us. He calls us by name we are HIS. (Book of Isaiah 43)

He is jealous over us. And our good God will stop at nothing to get our attention and help us turn back to him. Even to the extent of breaking our hearts from sin and a destructive future. Remember, the future God has planned is filled with prosperity and hope. So go on ahead and cry it out for a day or two but then you’ve got to realize and come back to true love… God.

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  • Filling the Void

God did NOT set you free from the last guy simply for you to have a “breather” and then to jump into the next relationship. The point is not to go find another to fill the void. God is the ONLY one that can fill the void you feel in your heart and spirit. Not another random guy, not drinking or partying, not the “glow up” from hitting the gym. None of it will fill the void. Sure you can experience happiness but it temporary. But the #glowup that God provides is everlasting.

I say this often,  the enemy has done a great job making us believe that being single is wrong and a depressing/boring season. That is such a lie! The thing is, the relationship he does not what you to have and focus on is your relationship with God. He know THAT relationship will shut him down. That you will actually experience Joy and not just temporary happiness. True love and not just physical lust. Purpose and not just wandering and “going with the flow”.

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Girl listen, God said “seek me and my righteousness and everything you need will be given to you” (Matthew 6:33) Nowhere did he say seek a man. Nope! Not in the Word at all. In him is  where everything you need can be found. In him you lack NADA! Meaning, when there is a need for you to help a man, when you need to extend your help to a man God will provide him. Being single lets you examine yourself. What do you bring to the table? What can you help this man accomplish? Look, you don’t have to go hunting for BAE. God will provide him. Which leads me to my next point…

  • Modesty

We all like to look cute. We all wanna SLAY ALL DAY! And I for one am HERE for it Honey! But, the real Queen knows that you don’t need to show your breast, thighs, stomach, butt etc to be beautiful or to get attention. You can be fully clothed and “break necks”.  And I’m not talking about bodycon dresses either -___- ( Those have their place and can be styled appropriately) Be appropriate Sis! Bathing suits are for the water not the mall.

Look, how about this. Ask yourself some questions as you pick your outfit for the day or event.

  1.  Why do I want to wear this particular item? * Be Honest- its just you and God.
  2. Would I be comfortable to wear this in the presence of God. I’m not talking about church. I mean literally if God summoned you, would you be comfortable to stand before him in that outfit.
  3. Would Jesus wanna send me to help someone in this or would I possibly be a stumbling block/distraction to the work Christ wants to get done?

You don’t have to wear a trash bag but you also don’t need to wear a shoe string as an outfit either. I mean,  lets be all the way real. We think this stuff anyway. We know exactly the reaction we will get with certain outfits. Let’s stop pretending like “well, you suppose to be focused on God not what I’m wearing” -_______-  Sis, yes you are absolutely right. However, since we still in this flesh and our eyes see errthang. We can’t help but look and guys can’t help but see and think. The flesh is real ..lol the Word even says “the spirit is willing but the flesh is weak”.

Love, you are so much more than body parts and curves. Don’t get too caught up in all that.

Modesty, Modesty

  • Focus

The Word say that we have purpose. We each are called here on earth for a purpose by God. Let’s focus on that. What skills, talents, gifts do you have? How can you glorify God with them? How can you help the next generation avoid some of your stumbling blocks, hurts and errors?

Listen you are the favor, boo. (Proverbs 18:22)  You’re the blessing. Act like it! Know who you are. Anyone cannot have you. Anyone cannot touch you. Anyone cannot have full view of you. You are beautifully and wonderfully made. Act like it! Know who you are and who’s you are!! Let’s focus on God and trust that he will do what he said and work all things for our good.

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Love Ya to Peace,
Faith. Loves

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Let Freedom Reign

Let’s just dive on in.

If you are struggling with lust, fornication, sexual identity, homosexuality, drunkenness, lying, anger, bitterness etc. There is hope. There is something better… someone greater. His name is Jesus.

John 14:6- Jesus answered, I am the Way, the Truth and the Life…

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In case no one has ever mentioned it to you or you forgot, Jesus Christ came to free you, me and all mankind from sin. ( Let’s be clear all of the above struggles and more are sin) He died and rose again defeating death to not only finish sin off but to seal it away for all those who would choose to believe in him.

John 8:36- So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

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This is not to say that these same issues won’t try to attack you or sneak back into your life. They will! Take the story of the unclean spirit found in Luke 11:24-26

24 “When an impure spirit comes out of a person, it goes through arid places seeking rest and does not find it. Then it says, ‘I will return to the house I left.’ 25 When it arrives, it finds the house swept clean and put in order. 26 Then it goes and takes seven other spirits more wicked than itself, and they go in and live there. And the final condition of that person is worse than the first.”

Listen, this is now active and engaging war. But take heart Jesus has overcome this world. He has defeated evil and in him we have the victory. It is through Christ that we can do all things; stand firm, know when to run and even when to fight. He equips us with his Spirit, Word and with the Armor of God ( Ephesians 6: 10-19).

The #MajorKey is BELIEF! FAITH! Believing that God is not a man that he should lie- Numbers 23:19.

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If you noticed I have not mentioned people; Preachers and fellow Christians etc. People have their place in this war to remain free as well. But it (people) can trap you too. Some of you may be tired of church and the people in them. I implore you to check where your loyalty and connection lies. Is is truly with God or with the people who are suppose to represent him? The relationship was always meant to be directly between man and God. A vertical relationship. The horizontal is just an extension of the vertical relationship. If there is no vertical relationship, having a horizontal one will be very difficult.

Interesting note: The Cross. Jesus was hung on the cross vertically depicting the relationship of the Father and Son. His arms stretched horizontally wide seemingly covering or embracing all of mankind. One man representing all relationships. **

Free from people bondage, we can collaborate and partner with people to advance and to gain support. In the Roman army, they wore their whole armor and shield. At times the army would ban together to form one huge shield, that way all of the soldiers were protected. Sometimes the enemy attacks from behind or the side. Well we don’t have eyes in the back of our heads or on the sides of our heads. But our brother or sister in Christ can see the attack and guard us and vice verse. That is the effective use of fellowship and church. And should for some reason we fall or begin to stumble they are there to catch us or poster us up to regain our strength. This is how we remain in the freedom that Christ Jesus has bought with his blood and his life for us.

Listen, the Word of God is life. Literally!man does not life on bread alone but by every word from the mouth of the living God…. God spoke the heavens and earth into existence… In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.

SPEND TIME IN THE WORD FOR YOURSELF!
Every bible has a reference in the back. Do studies based on various areas of your life. Things that you may be struggling with. What does God say about them? What battle strategy does he give for defeating them?

Today’s world has normalized bondage. We are obsessed, addicted and enslaved to sexual immorality but it looks and feels “normal” and “good”. We have a choice to enjoy and live temporarily in false freedom of sin. Or live now and eternally in the freedom of Christ Jesus.

I have tried the way of the world and spent more time covering up my brokenness and depression verses the latter when Jesus Christ healed my brokenness and gave me a new life. Life with real peace, joy, love, faithfulness etc. At one point I honestly thought I had to be in a relationship and had to have sex in order to feel loved. That was a lie!  I have now been single (for real) for 3 years. No guys and no sex for 3 whole years and I am at the most joy-filled place in my life. What the world told me I needed and could only find in a relationship and sex was actually partially true. I indeed needed relationship but with God. His love is freely given and completely fulfilling.

Confusion, delusion, addiction, lust, abuse etc are not of God or pleasing to God. He is calling people out of bondage of all kinds and into true freedom.

Let Freedom Reign!

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Vacation Woes: Left and Forsaken

I am fresh back home from an Awesome Sauce trip to Mexico. My college friends have tied the knot in a breathtaking beach front wedding. It was absolutely beautiful. Along with all the beauty of the resort was the company. This was the first time in YEARS that most of my college friends have gotten together. And of course, we gelled back together as though no time had passed, as if nothing at all had changed…. therein lies my problem.

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Ms.Blingmiami
Dress is from http://www.msblingmiami.com

“This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!” – 2 Corinthians 5:17

(TRANSPARENCY)

I kinda got right into having drinks with everyone and having not so civil (no pun intended)  conversations. I struggled with that because since I’ve been a follower of Christ I have not gotten drunk or even tipsy. When I realized that I was actually drunk, I felt instant guilt and condemnation. Now, clearly that ain’t right. “Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus…” – Romans 8:1

I decided to leave the group and go sleep it off. When I awoke still feeling horrible for getting drunk, I repented. But you know, I experienced something that got me thinking, Is this how some people feel about coming to God? I asked this because, as a daughter of the most high, I’ve had the amazing opportunity of knowing him personally. Knowing that no matter what I say or do, he will never leave me or forsake me and that nothing could ever separate me from his love. And yet, I had to drag myself to repent because I felt such shame! I was ashamed because I know that I am supposed to be an example, a witness to Christ Jesus and here I was tipsy. -____-  So I can only imagine what it is like for those who do not know God personally and fear that they cannot come to him with their mess, sins and dirt etc. I cringe at the fact that some people really have no idea that although they have sinned God STILL loves them and WANTS them. In fact, that is why he sent his only son Jesus Christ, so that we may have the way to him, even  especially  when we screw up.

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Now, I am sure I am not the first or the only person to deal with the balance or figuring out of  how to have fun being young and single while living for God. How do I incorporate the sassy, quirky and unique characteristics God created me with in ways that glorify him and still kick it with da homies? This trip although fun and beautiful, frankly very much needed was eye opening spiritually for me. God is my father any and everywhere but AM I HIS DAUGHTER ANY AND EVERYWHERE TOO??? Did I leave the USA and forget who I am…. WHO’S I AM??

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(THE ANSWER)

While I was there in Mexico, I received a call I’d really rather had not. My nephewSon (yes, that’s a thing. I should really coin this phrase) Jason was rushed to the hospital. At first they could not tell what was wrong with him and there I was thousands of miles away. As I kept getting updates, I began to feel so helpless, worried and guilty. SMACK! in the middle of all of those emotions and thoughts, my father’s words cam flooding in my heart. I almost couldn’t keep up. As I stood in the middle of the hotel room with tears flowing down my face, I literally felt the presence of God and his peace washing over me. It was absolutely surreal and humbling. Seeing as how God was showing me he was #Loyal to me even when I was not towards him. I stood there praying, crying out to him and remembering his Words of healing, peace, restoration, security, victory and forgiveness. I walked out of that room with a refreshed sense of power and courage. Like the prodigal son, I came into my right mind again. I was able to enjoy the rest of the wedding weekend and have fun with my friends without compromising my walk/standards with Christ and without fear for my nephew.

Now this is NOT to say you cannot drink at all. My bases is strictly from my PERSONAL relationship with God. What he deems as the blueprint for our relationship. Simply put drinking and lewd conversations among other things is on OUR list of “Chill baby girl, you’re not about that life no mo”.

(MAD RANDOM SIDE NOTE)

So did ya’ll know that black people can sun burn??!! My whole chest, arms and even face is all messed up.  Peeling and Err’thang. I have been dowsing my self in aloe for the past few days. SMH! Learn something new all the time. And I’m Haitian … the sun vacations year round there… I don’t get it. Anyways…….

These were some of the stand out points of my trip. Let me know what you guys think? What are some of your dealings with God? Don’t be shy, SHARE!

Love Ya to Peace,

Faith. Loves

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Faithful to Trust

Every so often. It is really good to step back, quiet yourself, free yourself from distractions and just review. Review life, your thought processes, emotions and values. I have done just that and let me tell you, it surely was eye opening! One of the biggest revelations for me came from fasting. I’ve struggled with trust for a while now, even trusting God. During my time alone with God, he revealed to me why I have such a hard time trusting him. Subconsciously,  I made God out to be just like man. What I mean by that steams from Numbers 23:19God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?”  I had blamed God for my failed relationships in particular. I was angry with him for willing me to be “alone forever”. To me God lied. When it came to relationships, I viewed God as a regular Joe Shmoe. He was God – Alpha and Omega in every other aspect of life, except for this area.

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You see most humans lie, unfortunately it’s apart of our nature. We constantly change our minds especially with we are no longer satisfied with the situation or person. We make promises and “forget” or just plainly don’t plan to keep them. These are all human characteristics that we certainly did not inherit from God. These are all clear signs of the enemy. The Bible says that the devil is the father of lies in John 8:44. So why do we think that God would be the one to lie to us or to not fulfill his promises to us? How did we come to this conclusion?

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Over the weekend, during Sunday service the preacher taught on the deception movement. Basically stating that the enemy has been whispering deceptions, halve truths and confusion in our ears since Adam and Eve. That he is still doing so today! This further confirmed to me the fact that we’ve grown to accept his lies even though we have the truth in our faces, which is the Word of God.

If God has truly placed a desire in our hearts for marriage, family, a business or a ministry, etc. Why then would he change his mind? Why would he not fulfill his promise? You could argue, well- maybe he changes his mind because of how we act towards him. But that would be inaccurate. God gave his only son Jesus Christ as the ultimate sacrifice to save us from eternal damnation. This was done while we were deep in sin.  So that argument doesn’t stand. Even if all the circumstances of life stack up against us getting to God’s promises- he uses them for our good Romans 8:28  .

In my revelation about seeing God through my flawed eyes. He brought me back to a few of my favorite scriptures:

Isaiah 55:11 so is my word that goes out from my mouth: It will not return to me empty, but will accomplish what I desire and achieve the purpose for which I sent it. 
If God has spoken a particular thing over your life, rest assured that it will come to pass. It has too. God’s word is final.

Isaiah 43:1-4 But now, this is what the LORD says— he who created you, Jacob, he who formed you, Israel: “Do not fear, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze. For I am the LORD your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior; I give Egypt for your ransom, Cush and Seba in your stead. Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life.

This particular scripture strikes a cord in my heart. I always tell people to make scripture personal to them. Inserting your name smack in the middle of the Word. This one is my favorites. God specifically summoned you (insert your name), you belong to God Almighty! You are not just anybody. You are a deliberately chosen child of God! You are precious and honored to him AND God LOVES YOU! Ha! Doesn’t that just make your heart jump with joy! You have privileges to speak to your Father about anything and anyone. You can speak to any situation and because God backs you up, that situation has to get itself together! 

John 14:6  Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
I didn’t really get all of this until the Holy Spirit allowed my understanding to full grasp this verse. Specifically the fact that Jesus Christ is truth. In the armor of God (Ephesians 6) The belt of truth comes first. It’s the belt that secures everything else. Without it the rest of the armor cannot hold. The shield of faith isn’t the right size to protect you, you don’t know how to use the sword of the Word and you have no where to hold it. The helmet of salvation is there but you barely even realize its power. The shoes of peace are on but you don’t think it has any real purpose. And you can forget about the breastplate of righteousness, it won’t stay up at all without the belt of truth. Focusing on Jesus and following him, helps us to accept the will of God. Believing in and fully surrendering to all the Jesus represents and stands for allows you to trust God’s plan and timing. 

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Each and everyday we start the trust system all over again. God starts it off by simply waking us up. We get to make the next move of trusting him.

Love Ya to Peace,
Faith. Loves

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A Love Story: Still being written…

I was riding home trying to remember how we first met. I mean, I kinda knew him all my life. My mother tried to introduce me to him when I was younger. Even his dad briefly had us meet. I guess that’s why later on being with him felt so right.

Throughout my life he would try to talk to me but I thought, he’s way to serious. I’m tryna be young, wild and free. At least my false sense of freedom. I declined and kept him on the back burner though. When I went away to college we kinda got closer. I would talk to him every now and then. He was always ready to listen and comfort me. I loved that. But I still didn’t want an official relationship with him.

When I graduated from college, we really started to get tight. I told him all about the crazy messed up stuff I did in college and you know what he said to me. I still want you. Say what? Is he for real? He can’t be real? After all of that. Nah, he deserves someone so much better. I thought I have to get myself together if I’m gonna be in relationship with him.

Towards the end of the summer, I got an invite to his dad’s house for a gathering, I guess you can call it. It was like a weeklong gathering every night. Where people would come, and be free. I still don’t know what made me decided to go. But I did. From the moment I stepped in something in the atmosphere hit me. It was an odd yet familiar feeling. A lot of people were there, some listening and others venting. I knew he was there and I kept trying to gather up courage to go up to him but I couldn’t. What was wrong with me? I know him. We talk from time to time. He knows me better than most folks. Why did I have this sudden sense of fear and timidity to go up to him now? I finally figured it out, my nagging ex was still lingering around. Ugh! Always tryna bring a sister down. Finally on a Thursday night, I remember. Other people were around talking to him but it was as if he had his eyes on me. It drew me and I just had to go to him. His power was stronger than my timidity. It was stronger than my fears of rejection and embarrassment. He is stronger than my ex. And I did it. I walked up to him and he said words to me that began the shift in my life. I have plans for you. Plans to help you and not destroy you. Plans to give you a future and hope.

From that day I entered a relationship with him. He shook my world and flipped everything. And it was wonderful. Now, as lovely as it felt to be in a new and very different relationship, it certainly wasn’t without its share of drama.

That annoying ex of mine, oh he was furious. I mean smoking hot. And of course, he kept sliding in my DMs (for lack of better illustration) and I caved in. I strayed away from my new found relationship. I went and had an affair with my ex for years. It was a back and forth thing for a while. But love would continue courting me and pursuing me while my ex would trick me. And each time my love would welcome me back with open arms. He would wash me and cleanse me. Making me clean without spot or blemish. He doesn’t keep any record of how many times I slip up. He would make me new again. Each time he was patient with me and showed me kindness. But there I went back to get sullied again each time. Until one day, my love showed me what it would be like not to have him anymore. That day, I felt an emptiness in the depths of my soul. It was as if my spirit escaped me. All peace, joy, love, goodness, faithfulness etc. all just left me. I felt the weight of death. And I wept. I mourned for myself. Because I finally realized that I was dead without him.

I went to him on bended knee, crying out to him to forgive me. And do you know what he did? He dried my tears, lifted me up and cleansed me again. On top of that, he did something I had been failing to do in my own strength. He destroyed my ex. He set me free from that miserable life. Man, I certainly do not deserve such love. He is my everything. He is my way, my truth and my life. Although my horrendous ex tries to get back with a sister. I now know I have someone who truly loves me and strengthens me to overcome my ex’s advances.

Being with him, it’s like my mind is constantly being renewed. I see things differently. I act differently. I love more deeply. His thoughts are so much higher than my thoughts. His ways are so much better than my ways. Now that I am fully submitted to him, I’ve become one with his whole family. Through him, I’ve gained a father aka Abba. Most folks know him as Yahweh or God. He’s given me an army of body guards… lol aka angels. And he’s given me a best friend that can compare to none other, his Holy Spirit. And his Word? I literally can live off of his words. There life living water. Its like bread simply isn’t as satisfying as his word.

Our love story is still being revealed to me. He already knows it all but lives the excitement with me every day as I go through it. He did manage to tell me the ending of the story though. Apparently, he’s prepared a place for me in his father’s kingdom. In the end, I become royalty and reign with him for eternity. Yeah, he’s my love. My Savior and my Lord.

I belong to him, Yeshua!

Transparent Tuesdays

Hey Guys! It’s been a while since I’ve posted a blog. So I figured today would be a great day to “come back” and fill you guys in a bit on whats been going on.

Well, I’ve been busy. Super busy. Busier than I would like to me. In fact, I’ve been so busy that I’ve actually started to fall apart. Yup, that’s right. I’m all messed up. I haven’t been reading, meditating on the Word. I haven’t actually spent devoted time with God. And I feel it. Intensely! I can sense the void in my heart. I feel so weak and restless. I’m not fully at peace. I know what you’re thinking. Then get back on track. Well, it turns out it’s not that easy.

I’ve somehow become accustom to “doing” for God, instead of just BEING with God. I’ve been chugging along “doing” everything “for God”. As if to win his approval. I know it’s super silly of me to think that way. But this is my reality. It’s my daily struggle to remember that God already sent Christ to DO all that needed to be done. And since I’ve accepted to follow Christ there really isn’t much else that needs to be DONE- as far as getting to the Father is concerned. I have been praying to God to help get me realigned. But I can’t hear him. These past few weeks have been rough to say the least. I feel like I’ve fallen out with my best friend and literally my spirit hurts. Usually I’m the strong one with all of the answers. I have the scripture and can break it down so everyone can understand. But I find myself in a valley. I’m not so afraid of things or people because I know even here in this low place, God is covering me and protecting me. His love doesn’t end because I’m not in a high place. In fact, he continues to send me little bits of encouragement- through friends, family, etc. But this valley makes it difficult for me to directly hear, see, feel God.

You know, I guess this valley is teaching me something about walking by faith. Because frankly, I don’t have a clue what’s next and I can’t even hear the GPS ( that’s God) to know where to move next. But I have to keep going because well;  I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus. – Philippians 3:14  Faith is all I got. It’s the only thing I can really hold on to. Faith that everything I learned in the last season is true and will keep me going. Faith that God will fulfill all that he said he would.

I just want the fire back. The zeal for God’s Word- His Spirit. Man! God’s presence is so awesome. Right now, it’s like I’m moving in slow motion. One step seems like years. Truth be told it’s often in these valleys that most people slip up and head back towards the “comfort” of sin. And I do feel the urge to listen to music I know is not helpful to my walk with Christ. I’ve gotten more invites to parties during the past few weeks than every before. (Parties that I know nothing will be glorifying to God)  I’m trying to push beyond the temptations- one foot step after another. I’m running on fumes ya’ll… prayers of others to keep me going right now. ( Hence, why it is vital to pray for all Christians around the world. You never will know the true power of your prayers for others.) 

Guys, this is my naked truth. I’m trying to keep holding on. Keep me in your prayers!

Love Ya to Peace,
Faith. Loves

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