I was riding home trying to remember how we first met. I mean, I kinda knew him all my life. My mother tried to introduce me to him when I was younger. Even his dad briefly had us meet. I guess that’s why later on being with him felt so right.
Throughout my life he would try to talk to me but I thought, he’s way to serious. I’m tryna be young, wild and free. At least my false sense of freedom. I declined and kept him on the back burner though. When I went away to college we kinda got closer. I would talk to him every now and then. He was always ready to listen and comfort me. I loved that. But I still didn’t want an official relationship with him.
When I graduated from college, we really started to get tight. I told him all about the crazy messed up stuff I did in college and you know what he said to me. I still want you. Say what? Is he for real? He can’t be real? After all of that. Nah, he deserves someone so much better. I thought I have to get myself together if I’m gonna be in relationship with him.
Towards the end of the summer, I got an invite to his dad’s house for a gathering, I guess you can call it. It was like a weeklong gathering every night. Where people would come, and be free. I still don’t know what made me decided to go. But I did. From the moment I stepped in something in the atmosphere hit me. It was an odd yet familiar feeling. A lot of people were there, some listening and others venting. I knew he was there and I kept trying to gather up courage to go up to him but I couldn’t. What was wrong with me? I know him. We talk from time to time. He knows me better than most folks. Why did I have this sudden sense of fear and timidity to go up to him now? I finally figured it out, my nagging ex was still lingering around. Ugh! Always tryna bring a sister down. Finally on a Thursday night, I remember. Other people were around talking to him but it was as if he had his eyes on me. It drew me and I just had to go to him. His power was stronger than my timidity. It was stronger than my fears of rejection and embarrassment. He is stronger than my ex. And I did it. I walked up to him and he said words to me that began the shift in my life. I have plans for you. Plans to help you and not destroy you. Plans to give you a future and hope.
From that day I entered a relationship with him. He shook my world and flipped everything. And it was wonderful. Now, as lovely as it felt to be in a new and very different relationship, it certainly wasn’t without its share of drama.
That annoying ex of mine, oh he was furious. I mean smoking hot. And of course, he kept sliding in my DMs (for lack of better illustration) and I caved in. I strayed away from my new found relationship. I went and had an affair with my ex for years. It was a back and forth thing for a while. But love would continue courting me and pursuing me while my ex would trick me. And each time my love would welcome me back with open arms. He would wash me and cleanse me. Making me clean without spot or blemish. He doesn’t keep any record of how many times I slip up. He would make me new again. Each time he was patient with me and showed me kindness. But there I went back to get sullied again each time. Until one day, my love showed me what it would be like not to have him anymore. That day, I felt an emptiness in the depths of my soul. It was as if my spirit escaped me. All peace, joy, love, goodness, faithfulness etc. all just left me. I felt the weight of death. And I wept. I mourned for myself. Because I finally realized that I was dead without him.
I went to him on bended knee, crying out to him to forgive me. And do you know what he did? He dried my tears, lifted me up and cleansed me again. On top of that, he did something I had been failing to do in my own strength. He destroyed my ex. He set me free from that miserable life. Man, I certainly do not deserve such love. He is my everything. He is my way, my truth and my life. Although my horrendous ex tries to get back with a sister. I now know I have someone who truly loves me and strengthens me to overcome my ex’s advances.
Being with him, it’s like my mind is constantly being renewed. I see things differently. I act differently. I love more deeply. His thoughts are so much higher than my thoughts. His ways are so much better than my ways. Now that I am fully submitted to him, I’ve become one with his whole family. Through him, I’ve gained a father aka Abba. Most folks know him as Yahweh or God. He’s given me an army of body guards… lol aka angels. And he’s given me a best friend that can compare to none other, his Holy Spirit. And his Word? I literally can live off of his words. There life living water. Its like bread simply isn’t as satisfying as his word.
Our love story is still being revealed to me. He already knows it all but lives the excitement with me every day as I go through it. He did manage to tell me the ending of the story though. Apparently, he’s prepared a place for me in his father’s kingdom. In the end, I become royalty and reign with him for eternity. Yeah, he’s my love. My Savior and my Lord.
I belong to him, Yeshua!