The years 2015 and a bit of 2016 were my years of healing. I knew I had a desire for marriage but I was also very aware of the loads of hurt I had picked up. So, I set out to unload. I deliberately brought allllllll of my hurts, pains, insecurities, fears, every thought… allllll of it to God. And I asked him to help me deal with them. To throw away what bad relationships had planted in me and to check me on my own bitter ways.. (HELLO SOMEBODY )
We dug deep. It was totally–COMPLETELY UNCOMFORTABLE! I mean who knew that forgiveness would hurt before it felt good. Who knew it was so hard to let go of pain. Sounds crazy right? I liken the process to cleaning out old wounds that have begun to scab over. You gotta peel back the rough skin to clean and disinfect the wound in order for it to truly heal nicely and with no types of infection. It hurts to do it but it is necessary to the healing process.
Dealing with past hurts whether from relationships, friends, family, or church etc- is vital to our future. Believe it or not they show up and often when we least expect it. Little disagreements become war or we leave the place God leads us to be because of “those” people. Or the worse idea for me at this time, Pushing away the love God wants to bless me with. I know people like the phrase “what God has for you is for you, no one can take it away” but humans tend to be a bit more sensitive. God could very well prepare someone for you but your constant pushing leads them away. God cares about all his children. So I don’t believe he would allow them to keep getting reject by you because you refuse to let go of past hurts.
I’ve learned that despite what has happened in the past, God has a plan to prosper me. He has plans of a future and a hope for me (Jeremiah 29:11) And that he is able to make All things new. This means new love, new hopes, new dreams, new opportunities and even new life! The old things are dead and gone. Do not remember them (Isaiah 43:18 & Revelations 21:4). They actual hinder and prolong all that God wants to do in our lives when we hold on to past things especially past hurts.
Even holding on to past good things can sometimes hinder us. We become accustom to God doing something one way and expect him to always do it that same way. God does new things! Yes, he absolutely can do the same thing again but you’ve seen that before, trust him to see something new and beyond your wildest imagination.
Look- we all have baggage. I’m just trying to say we don’t need to bring a truckload to our future marriages, careers or even each week to church. A lot of that is unnecessary and does US more harm. We think that keeping the hurts keeps others from hurting us. It could work but it also keeps away those who want to love us.
I’ll share with you all a bit of what my journey to restoration from past hurts looked like. This may not work for everybody but it’s a start. I believe once you get the groove of it. God will tailor it just for you.
- Write down every hurt you can think of
- Pray about each individual item on that list.(THIS WILL NOT- I REPEAT.. NOT BE EASY!)
- Study the Word of God about specific areas ex. – Love (what is it suppose to look/feel like), Family (how to love them No matter what ) Forgiveness, etc.
- APPLY YOUR STUDIES TO EVERYDAY LIFE! (knowledge is useless when it is not applied)
- Begin to pray and speak life into your future! *The power of life and death lies in the tongue. (Proverbs 18:21)
I know I am not the only one praying on things and keeping faith that God will open the door for me in marriage, family and career. I encourage you all to work with God in preparation for what you are asking him for. Faith without works (deeds) is dead! God absolutely can do any and all things. But are you even ready for such blessings?
Love ya to Peace,