Many people run to the church to find some stability, support, guidance, even work etc. But in doing so many subconsciously shift all their energy into the church. Now, for a single person this would not be an issue really. I mean as singles, we have all the time and energy in the world to help and be attentive to the church. But as a married person, this can be very dangerous.
I know of a young man who was a part of the church and he even participated in some areas. He was a very quiet guy. As I began to get to know him, I soon learned that inside he was a very angry person. That outside of the four walls he was completely different. I could never understand the 180 from the guy who attends service and functions to the guy that smoked, cursed and hung out at strip clubs all night. Eventually that grew from him at least attending “church” each week to him completely abandoning it. (It is very clear his heart left Christ quite sometime ago. It literally was his shell of a body that presented in the assembly) I mean this guys was brought up in a Christian home with both parents. He lived in an okay neighborhood. He went to school. You know “the good life”.
Well one day, I asked him about his parents and immediately the atmosphere changed. He had such a negative view of them. In particular a negative feeling towards his father. As the conversation went, he explained how his dad use to be so cool. He smiled as he recounted his childhood memories of things he would do with his dad. But then as he got older, his father became involved in the church. The more his father grew in the church the less fun and love he felt from his father. So he blames the church for taking away his dad.
You see even the Word of God teaches that as a married person, your responsibility is first and foremost your family. (I do not include God on list because he is ruler over all things- he is Above every list) Your family is your church. Men are to teach and lead their families. Women to nurture and support their families. As a matter of fact, Paul writes in 1 Timothy that if your home is not in order and you cannot lead your own family, you cannot serve in the church. ( 1 Tim 3:5)
This was the error in this young man’s life. He feels his father abandoned him for the church. We have to be extremely careful of this major issue. Many people especially ( sorry to call them out like this) older folks think that just because it has something to do with church that it is all good. Truthfully, it’s as if man has put the church building and even church body above the actual Word of God. While it is wonderful and necessary for the church to meet together, fellowship, pray together etc. The first coming together to fellowship, pray, and support etc. should be at home with your family. The title of Mother or Father will always be greater than the title of pastor or deacon.
Now unfortunately, I no longer know where or what happened to this young man but I have kept him in my prayers. I pray that his spiritual walk with Christ was not completely damage by the unfortunate experience his father provided for him. I pray that the enemy no longer keeps him with anger built up in his heart. I pray the father that he felt he lost, he has found in God. To those of us who are a part of various groups and positions within the church and are single, be free to devote as much time to whatever work God calls you to. However singles who pray to be married one day, learn and be prepared to let some activities go so that you can focus on your new ministry in your home. And lastly, to those who are married and with families, be cautious of your time and attention.
Love Ya to Peace,