What’s the big deal anyway? What’s so deep about having sex? I mean, as long as you protect yourself by wearing a condom then it’s all good? No pregnancy, no STD.. I’m good. That covers the “bad” stuff.
This was part of the conversation I had with myself right before I threw my virginity away. My parents or Mom I should say, never really talked to me in depth about sex. We had the light conversation about not having sex so I won’t make the mistake of getting pregnant and throwing my life away. She mentioned the fact that having sex could possibly lead to a disease as well. Basically that was the jest of it- No Sex, No Babies, No STDs. Even the nuns at my high school. They mainly spoke about abstinence from the pregnancy and STD standpoint. But no one, no one ever spoke about or mentioned the Spiritual, Emotional and Mental effects of sex or about what God requires. So today, I want to talk to my girls and guys too (Hey fellas!) about those points of view.
Now, I’m not a scientist or doctor etc. However, our bodies release a chemical that helps us bond with one another in intimate situations. The intensity of that bond kinda depends on the activity. i.e, breastfeeding, hug, kiss, sex etc. Now the part of the brain that releases this chemical, in women happens to be much larger than in men. This brings me to my main focus here- Women often have “super bonds” ( as i call it) or ” crazy” (as some men say. lol) (click here for more info) I became so attached to my first boyfriend. I couldn’t fully understand it. The “crazy” even scared me..lol. I never thought that I would get attached to him as fast and as much as I did. Honestly, I just wanted to know what the hype was about. I wasn’t trying to get caught up. It wasn’t until my second relationship ended and I truly stepped into the light of Christ, did I start to realize these things. This chemical that our body releases is for lasting bonds; for our mothers who birthed us and fed us and later in life for our husbands who have professed to us, our families and God to protect, provide and lead us etc.
I’ve mentioned here on my blog before about Soul Ties. 1 Corinthians 6:16 Sex was always meant to be a seal in a sense between a man and a woman and for them to multiple- that is have children. (That is why even today, people talk about consummating your marriage. Meaning the bond hasn’t been sealed and confirmed until a wife and husband have been sexually intimate) Again, I stress to you all to realize that we are first spiritual beings before we are carnal beings. James 2:26 Unfortunately, soul ties are a WHOLE OTHER BALL GAME! Now, I really love ya’ll so I’m keeping it all the way real with you. Breaking from a soul tie that you never should have been a part of in the first place, is not impossible. Through Christ all things are possible. But, and this is a big BUT, it will be WAR! The enemy is not.. I repeat not.. going to just back away slowly and never bother you again. The enemy plays with your thoughts, memories, feelings for that person. It’s a real struggle! The only way to cut that soul tie is with the Word of God. Hebrews 4:12 And not just reading for the sake of reading. I mean living out the Word of God in your life.
Alright, so we all here claim to be Christians ( some just curious about the faith). Let’s get into the bottom line. Colossians 3:5; 1 Thessalonians 4:3; Hebrews 13:4 and may more. While the physical repercussions of sex outside of marriage are huge, how much more weight is it to know the truth and still sin against God? I know, it’s hard especially for my younger sisters and brothers. You love your boy/girlfriend. You want to be with them. But the greatest example of love is to keep him/her pure before God in that sense. The rest is up to them of course.
I wish there was a way for me to convey just how much I want those of you who are virgins to remain that way. I will be totally honest with you, I absolutely wish I never gave my virginity away. I wish I knew and understood the value and how precious it is. I’m not saying that the guy I gave it away to was a horrible person at all. In fact, I was the one that push him. He wanted me to wait. But I was so blinded and lost. I walked into my own sin and created my own troubles. I even caused him to fall further into sin. I don’t really want to get into the many repercussions but know that they are deep soul scars that I will never forget. I am no longer tied to them as I have been set free by blood of the lamb that is Christ Jesus, but I remember. I remember so that I may never fall into those traps again. I remember so that I can warn my younger sisters and brothers. I know that all the songs, shows, movies, social media, and magazines glorify premarital sex as just fun and that its normal. But I want to tell you don’t believe the hype. It’s not all it’s gassed up to be. They will be the same people that talk about you for getting pregnant, getting a disease, looking like a crazy stalker ( ya’ll have seen the memes). The same ones that tell you to get over it and move on to the next when your heart literally feels like it’s getting ripped out of your chest. I realized that God didn’t put these rules in place to keep us from enjoying ourselves, he put them in place to protect us. He knows how fragile we really are even though we all like to act tough. He sees us in our truths not the lies we portray to the world. He wants to keep us from sin, from those nights of tears, heartache, from the ridicule of man and from death. So in that moment, where you’re about to make a decision that may change the course of your life because you love someone. Think about the greatest love that is God. Think about how he sacrificed his only son to die for you to have the strength to get to this very moment and say NO! I will honor God completely- mind, body and soul.
I say these things not just for the virgin girl/boy but also to the young woman right now who knows in her heart that she shouldn’t be with that guy. But you’ve already given him your body and now your soul is tied to him. You still can let go. The road will be tough but I promise you…. I PROMISE YOU. IT IS WORTH IT! You are not alone. Young man, you are more than your private area. Society today just loves to measure the strength and power of a man. But what great show of strength and power than to control your carnal nature and submit to the will of God. Everyone can lay down with someone but its takes supernatural power to reject the ways of the world and follow the Creator of the world. You do not need to be confined to the ways of this society. Not only do you have the greatest power that is Christ Jesus waiting to set you free, but you have supporters. Fellow Christian women/ men to help you. (I will link some groups below)
I pray that you all heed my words. If no one else ever talks to you all in depth about it. I pray this helps you.
Love ya to Peace,