Disappointed with God

Jumping right on it… being real with you guys this one isn’t so beautiful and inspiring

For the past couple of days I have been very angry with God. I feel very hurt and disappointed. I think about how much I am trying my best to live right. To make sure I please him because he is God. But I realize I’ve been expecting something from him too. I think about the fact that I am single and how horribly my last situation ended. Then I think about the countless people who I see getting into relationships,getting married and having families. Some of these people barely talk to God. They have sex whenever before marriage, they get drunk and act a fool and some are even disrespectful to others. They rarely participate in any kingdom event yet they are able to find their partner in life and love.

Then there is me… Struggling but making the conscious effort everyday to live how God would want me to live. Trying my best to be kind and respectful to everyone (even those that are mean to me). I make sure I’m in constant communication with God and being lead by the spirit and not my flesh. Even when I am tired ( as in the case of this week) I push. I push to pray, to serve, and to be what God wants me to be. I can’t help but think is this what I have to sacrifice for God? Love? marriage? If so, honestly I would be totally okay with that if God would take away the desire.

I guess I just feel tired. I am one of those people that will smile, support and encourage others while I’m battling depression and angry within myself. But every now and then , I get weak and I simply cannot be that cheerful person. Right now, I’ve been fighting this feeling but I am quite disappointed with God.

Last night I woke up because of this issue. I tried to fight it by thinking of all the things God has already done for me and how other people have real problems. I am so grateful for all the blessings God has given me and my family. There are not even words in the human languages to express my gratitude but somehow I can’t shake this sadness. Β God and I have been having this “battle” for quite sometime and its just that I’ve gotten to the point where I am truly tired. I’ve come to the conclusion however, that I shouldn’t want to find love here on earth. I’m coming to peace really with the idea that love for me will occur when I get to heaven.

I’m trying to figure out if God created me to be orderly and disciplined and planned then why is he taking me in every direction but those. I feel very unplanned and spontaneous on this journey with him. I am just tired guys. I kinda sorta feel defeated. I keep saying in my head that I’ll be fine without love and that I don’t need it or want it. But my heart…. man oh man, my heart.

Anywho, Like I said, I don’t think God has my love story anywhere near here. Its in the end of my earthly life and hopefully beginning of my eternal one.

Love ya to Peace,

Faith.Loves

4 thoughts on “Disappointed with God

  1. Sweetie it’s not God keeping you from what you desire, Psalm 37:4 says delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart…I too have been mad (disappointed) at God, because I didn’t understand what He was doing, I couldn’t understand His plan for me and the desire I had in my heart, I prayed for him to confirm my desire or to take it away because I simply couldn’t bear what I was feeling any longer. He answered me and confirmed my desire. I do understand what your feeling. Will you allow me to share what I have learned with you? I don’t want to leave a lengthy comment or leave unwanted “advice”. Having had the same kinds of feeling as you and to be on the other side of things so to speak I think what I have learned might be helpful to you.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. Thank you for giving me the opportunity. When we are disappointed, hurt or mad at someone Gods word instructs us to forgive (Matthew 6:12, Mark 11:25) When we feel disappointed by God we need to forgive Him too! Yes forgive God… It sounds strange I know, let me explain, when we get hurt or feel hurt whether that hurt is real or perceived your feelings do not differentiate. We are aware as Christians that God is perfect, so if He is not wrong then our feelings are wrong!? But that is not right, it means our feelings need to be worked through. We feel the way we feel not because God has wronged us but we perceive He has. If we don’t work through and forgive we will simply let a wedge build between us and God, we will let our hurt wear away at our relationship with Him. When this happened to me I was honest with God and laid everything out before Him, I told Him how I felt and that I was hurt, repenting for being upset with Him and forgiving Him for what I perceived He had done (knowing full well He wasn’t to blame, it’s was misplaced blame) I hope this all makes sense. This is what helped me to get through. In the time since I have learned a lot about Gods goodness and how faithful He is. I pray Ephesians 3 that I would be rooted and grounded in love and that I would come to understand and know how much God loves me, I pray that also for you. God loves you so much, understanding that is so important. God is good and He is so faithful. God bless you as you walk your journey know that you are loved and He has no problem blessing you.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. @nogr8trlove
    Wow. Thank you. Believe it or not you, just confirmed so much for me. After I wrote about my disappointment. I felt like I did wrong to God. So I did just want you said, I repented and sought to forgive and receive forgiveness from him. I know that he is all loving. I see it everyday that he allows me to be alive. Its truly an emotions check in my walk with God. I am beginning to see that I cannot allow my emotions to cloud what God is really doing in my life. I certainly do not want any walls or anything else to come in between God and I. After spending time with God about this whole mess I realized that in asking God to help me with patience and trusting him, I have to go through a few test. Waiting on marriage happens to be the main one at the moment. LOL seems I’m failing miserably. But I cannot and will not give up on God. He has never and won’t give up on me. So I will press past this misplaced disappointment and frustration and trust God. I thank you so much for your words of advice and encouragement. I pray God truly blesses you in abundance. Thank you again!

    Liked by 1 person

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