I have trust issues. More importantly, I find myself struggling to trust God. I know that God is creator of all. I know that he is all powerful and I’ve read, heard and even experienced his amazing miracles. But I just struggle with completely letting go.
I have not given you the spirit of fear; but of power and of love and of a sound mind. 2 Tim 1:7
The Word tells me that God created me in his likeness to be bold etc. However, its hard to be bold and without fear when your 26 and everyone around you is getting engaged, married, buying homes etc and your just here. The fear sets in when other peoples careers are moving, promotions and degrees, graduations etc and again your just here. How can I be fearless, filled with power and love and keep my right mind when I’m wondering and praying for the blessings God is giving everyone around me but me?
This trust issue and fear issue has crept up on me. I was busy believing I was happy and in the spirit not guarding my heart or my mind. Now instead of 45 mins to an hour of reading and worship in the mornings, I barely open my eyes to read for a minutes. I pop open one of those bible app devotionals for 10 secs and pray on it for 4 more secs and I’m on to my day. At night it use to be deep conversation with God and now I barely remember if I said Amen because I probably fell asleep before I could finish. I recognize these falls and want to fix them and get back on the road with God. I know that he can mend all of my broken pieces but fear won’t let me give them to him. Will he really piece them back together? Even if he does, will i get hurt again?
My fear of the unknown keeps me at a distance from God. I need to really pray on that. I hope that you all with pray with me. Help me pray that God will show me how to burn my “Life To-Do List” and truly allow him to lead me. God has blessed me and shown me so many wonderful things already. I feel very shamed that I struggle to trust him still. The enemy is busy and tricky. But God reigns.
– You and only you see the depths of my heart, Lord. Help me to fully trust, submit and commit to your will. Do not allow me to fall into the schemes of the enemy, father. But keep me hidden and growing under your protection. Lead me, Guide me and Correct me. Remove all fear from me, oh Lord. In the mighty name of Jesus Christ I pray. Amen.
Love Ya to Peace,